I had someone to talk to about what I’m going through.

I know I was selfish in the beginning.

I know after the miscarriage, EVERYTHING changed so fast.

I hated it, we were both accepting having a child.

God, didn’t think it was the right time.

I broke up with you admitting, I didn’t think I could handle your emotionalism.

But soon afterwards, I knew I could, I just wasn’t thinking.

I didn’t give us the chance to talk about it.

Then we did, and got back together for a week.

Then ol boy came into the picture.

Took me 3 weeks to apologize for my original actions.

Then we spilled our hearts to each other.

You told me you felt no connection with him, but I knew you were lying.

You just didn’t want me to leave.

I’m giving you time to figure out what you want.

I have my head on straight, I’m willing to do what it takes.

You said are you willing to wait til graduation.

I told you yes.

But I don’t know, I know I’m not winning the war.

I know you’re going through a rough time, and I’m trying to help.

But you keep shutting me down, everytime I feel progress, shut down.

Quick love? No, we have been talking on and off for 3 years.

Nobody really knows that, I used to not want to go out with you cause of what my friends say.

And when I found out what was really good, everything said about you was a lie.

And I was glad I stuck around to find that out.

You’re so beautiful and strong, and you are so negative about yourself.

I’m your backbone, and you know it.

You’re new boyfriend only saw what went down at the end of our break ups.

I let him talk his shit on twitter, saying “He was there for the good, and I’m there for the bad.”

I guess he didn’t know what the fuck was really going on between us.

What you were going through, how I was helping you every night.

Letting you cry in my arms, spilling your thoughts.

I miss you, and this hurts.

I know I have no right to be mad at what I see, cause you aren’t my girlfriend anymore.

It kills me cause I just know what’s good, you said you don’t know if it’s too late.

But it’s never too late. After all the ups and downs, the shit we’ve been through.

People don’t even know what we have been through.

Sometimes separation, seeing other people is what we need.

I can only have faith that you will make the right decision.

But I also want whats best for you.

Because apparently to the world, I’m the biggest asshole.